MATERNITY: A SERIES OF SORTS

Chapter One: Places

The Labour Rooms

Say hello to long hours of standing. And more standing. And more standing. And more. Standing.

If it’s time well spent though, you do end up becoming the rootenest tootenest fastest IV injectin ’, Foley passin’, gluteal IM givin’ medic in the west. And with the ever increasing rate of incontinating bladders that’s sayin’ something y’all.

The Delivery Rooms

Boy, is this one dynamite room! You go from puking your insides out at the head-clouting stench, to awing and ahhing at the cute lil new borns.

PS. I delivered a placenta here!

PPS. It’s a strictly PG 18 room! Enough said.

The Jhoolay

Whether you’re feverish to reconnect with your inner child or plain frantic to flee from ferocious PGs, Lady Wellingdon has the best escape route to offer: jhoolay. A park full of them, right in the hospital grounds. So whenever the routine makes you too hot in the head, a little to-froing on the swings’ll cool you down. Light headed coolness guaranteed. (Or cool-headed lightness… your pick!)

The Mess

The food isn’t exactly lip smacking tasty but those long labour room hours can sure make you hungry. And amidst knee-bending hunger pangs and tummy rumbles, the mess doesn’t seem too bad. Biryani, daal, chicken saalan, haleem all served by a sort-of-deaf, short-sighted Baba jee (mostly seen in a nifty skeleton shirt). What’s better is that you get dinner-and-a-show… D4 never missed an epi of zindagi gulzar hai during our rotation, courtesy the mess’s tele. I was familiarized with the latest Turkish sensation hitting our screens (Fatima Gul) there too.

The Occasional Escape: Foodstreet

The best part of maternity, far out!

So what’s in store? Succulent barbecued chicken that could make your taste buds swell with joy, scrumptious gol gappay with a crunch so electrifying it makes your hair stand on end, luscious chicken tawa and handi that could make the hardest heart melt with its delectability… food to be first flavoured then savoured, and finally devoured… sigh it’s a food heaven if there ever was one!